Where I try and make sense of life without tripping over my own feet, stepping on any toes or spilling my drink. And if that doesn't work then I try and fool people into thinking I actually know what I am doing. My hub and three sons think I'm pretty great so it must be working.
"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep." Fran Lebowitz
"Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people." Robert Benchley
If you have a problem with expletives or sarcasm and can't take a joke then why are you here?
~ Digging up a flower-bed that has not been performing (see past posts about roses and houseplants. The rule in my house is: if you don't thrive you're outa here) In this case it was the whole raised bed that's coming down. I need more lawn anyways - better for the kids to play frisbee on.
~ I sliced my thumb open with an exacto-knife . . . don't ask.
~ Herding 11 year-olds on summer vacation - trying to keep son and friends happy and busy now that camp is over - watermelon, popsicles, ice-cream, bikes, neighbor's pool, trampoline, video-games, fire-pit, marshmallows . . . *phew*
~ Trying to get a 16 year-old to do his summer school homework instead of going out with his friends. I'm having mixed results here.
~ At the group home, I'm feeling more and more like a house-mother - can't I just adopt them all?
That's right I wouldn't have made it as a '30s housewife. I wouldn't have made it as a '40s, '50s or '60s housewife either. Stubborn, bossy and willful are not good characteristics for a submissive wife.
I didn't get into full wife and mommy mode until '89 when I figured that those living with me -hub and baby- would be well looked after only by extension of me looking after myself. Had I lived alone I would still have had to clean bathrooms and cook meals - making it glamorous was never on the radar.
Every once in a while - actually it seems almost weekly - I will be driving home and see this on the highway . . .
. . . another Canadian soldier has come home from Afghanistan in a casket and is en route from the military base in Trenton to Toronto where he will be delivered to his family for burial.
I cannot think of anything more sad . . .
Remind me again what we are doing in that part of the world? No, never mind . . . I don't care much for politics.
And buddy here, could he please pull his pants up a little higher? What a loser. He's all making eyes at his lady striking a pose with that gawdawful hat, hoping that if he buys it for her he'll finally get lucky later tonight in the cabana. Little does he know that she's already been getting it on with the guy in the blue shirt. Those Ray-Bans and short shorts are winning out over the polka-dots tucked in under buddy's ribcage. And what is it that he is holding there? A wooden carving of a bull? Right in front of his fly . . . hmm interesting position. Obviously he thinks very highly of his manhood, as in I've got something for ya right here, honey. The lady disagrees; it's not about the woody, mister, it's about the style. Now buy me this hat.
Oh and this one is special too. . .
I don't think pops here will be gettin' any anytime soon either.
So son19 calls me at 8am on Tuesday morning to say that he is just getting on the train to come home for a few days because his sublet has expired and he needs to get his furniture and stuff to move into his new apartment and could we borrow the neighbor's trailer, or rent one, and be back in Montreal in time for work Thursday night . . . ?
Nothing like easing into a holiday morning.
~Anywhoo~
Within minutes of his arrival there are clothes and shoes all over the house and he is out back with his brothers tossing a football around, doing handstands in the grass, emptying the fridge, arguing and playing his music too loud. I swear, he's like a toddler in a grownup's body. . . all over the place and into everything. Which reminds me of the observation I had made and posted about a few years ago about how we all go through a repeating cycle of infancy/adolescence/adulthood and old age at every stage of our lives. A 19 year-old then, might be considered an infant adult and a forty-two year-old might be considered an adolescent adult . . . or something. I know there is a legitimate study in there somewhere I just need another cup of coffee.
I love having all my boys at home.
And here it is July 4th already! Happy Independence Day to all you awesome, amazing, wonderful, marvelous, great, extraordinary, remarkable, lovely, delightful, funny, smart, terrific Americans . . .
Look what my garden produced! I hate don't care much for roses generally because they are just so fussy, mostly I dig them up and give them away or park them on the compost pile, but this climbing specimen takes care of itself and produces outrageously colored blossoms. She gets to stay.
And yes, thanks, today is off to a much better start. I am driving to Ottawa with the kiddos to visit Nana for the weekend before all the various summer schools and camps start. And maybe, if the stars are aligned right, I will finally catch up with some old friends that will be in town at the same time . . . we have been trying to coordinate something for six months but it just never seemed to work. Either I was there and they weren't or they were there and I wasn't. Frustrating!
"To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch . . . to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."